This is nice...
by Session Road
Hindi mo ba alam
Damdamin ko'y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka'y suntok sa buwan
'Di mo nga alam
Mundo mo nga'y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan
Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo
Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin
'Di mo napapansin
Kailangan mo akong dinggin
'Di habang buhay ika'y aantayin
Ito'y aking hiling
At sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko'y 'di nabibitin
Hindi ko 'to gusto
Pero 'wag kang lalayo
Itanong mo sa akin
At tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika'y aamin
Lahat ay gagawin
.:Peace Of Mind:.
Dominique and I met up last Wednesday night just to have a last opportunity for conversation before he went to Davao for good (Well, almost for good.). A miscommunication led him to end up in Galleria, but it wasn't long before he headed off to Glorietta, while I was heavily working on my Doomsday deck. I suppose the series of games I played against Mondu gave him a good idea of how good the deck can really be, especially once it gets powered up.
In any case, Dominique and I were talking about things that have been happening over the past year, especially the numerous life-changing moments that have come across our lives, or the lives of people around us. I suppose it's been a fairly eventful year, and for the most part, we already have plans for the next couple to come.
I'm grateful that he took well something that I told him that he ought to already know, though: my stance, and when all bets would be off. I suppose that part is fair enough, but considering things outside the small equation, I realize that there simply are some things that remain to be discussed. Nonetheless, for now, I guess it would suffice that I just get off my chest that which has been eating me up inside for quite a while. Let it be that way for now. It would be best, of course, for me to just get it over and done with already.
I suppose there's no need to wish Dominique any luck when he leaves for Davao, but I may as well do so. I'm sure things will be remarkably different there, and I figure it would mostly be different for the better.
.:Again?:.
My mom had a cameo in “Magpakailanman” last night. She was a teacher this time. I wonder if anyone caught that? Heh. She's making the rounds...
.:Random Ideas:.
I boarded alone yesterday, and it was a bit rough because 9-12 is prime time, so I had a lot of commercials and song sponsorhips. Despite that, I was glad that things turned out well enough for the most part. I even had a listener who called me up and talked to me on the phone for a while, telling me that she likes the music I play and all that. I'm glad, really. It's just great for me to be able to get this kind of practice on the air...
Our class for Ethics was fun, as well. Dr. Ibana seems to have gotten into a good stride with his teaching by now, and it shows. Moreover, I have a certain perk in that classroom... a cute perk...
As for Levinas class, Dr. Garcia was out again, and we discussed five different topics that night. Let's just say that I'll write something about that, along with the 8-ball piece, around early next week. That ought to be interesting...
.:The Top Ten People I'm Most Grateful To This Year:.
I got delayed by a day due to so many things I had to accomplish. I'm rather glad that despite the difficulties, I finally found the time to do this. Of course, considering that the next person I'm writing about is someone I've known for about almost nine years, then this next piece would clearly be quite one Hades of a history lesson...
Let me start off by warning everyone who will read this that my story with this person I am so grateful to is not entirely pretty. We've had a lot of ups and downs as friends, and I suppose I've had more than my fair share of mistakes in handling my friendship with her...
3: Abby Yao. One thing is clear about Abby. It's all about full circle. Abby and I got to know each other way back in first year high school, where the both of us were part of an AM radio program. Needless to say, we had an interesting kind of rapport professionally, and moreover, we clicked quite well as friends. At the time, she was helping me court this girl I really liked, before things started getting messy for us.
About six months after we got to know each other, things soured when I did something stupid. Let's just say that given two great friends, the last thing you ought to do was what I did. Needless to say, basted ako, to put it bluntly. And for the next couple of years, I was practically see-sawing with her with so many issues, all the way up to college, where we practically rammed heads on a lot of points, especially regarding my vicious dislike for anything that's remotely reminiscent of emotional blackmail.
Things began to turn around during third year college, where we were classmates in Jim Paredes' creativity class. Simply put, the moment I've come to terms and learned to accept some things I refused to accept after the longest time, after I made a fool of myself by being an emotional wreck in class while I was dealing with the unexpected news that she was no longer single, our friendship slowly began turning for the better, ironically. The moment I gave up on notions that the two of us could be close was precisely the moment we started getting close again. Hard to believe, but that's pretty much what happened.
We were pretty much on cruise control until around graduation, where my competitive nature admittedly got the best of me, and I longed to be in her shoes, given the academic success she merited upon graduating. Abby, at the time, was my academic yardstick. My contentment with success was contingent with my ability to keep up with the Joneses when it came to her. I was admittedly envious, but I didn't let that ruin our friendship. I continued beyond graduation, still being heavily involved in the academe, whilst I was also starting off my job-hunting. Abby got to work for an advertising agency, while I ended up being a DJ and a teaching assistant. Slowly, things began to come full circle.
They say what goes around comes around, and boy, does it. I wished to be in Abby's shoes due to her academic success, but she felt similarly after graduation, when I was doing precisely the things I really wanted to do (Though not for the kind of money I was hoping to make. =)). Not to say that she wasn't enjoying her work, but I figure she still wanted to do something beyond advertising, most likely travel.
Ironically, both instances of wishing to be in one another's shoes did not result in a rift in our friendship, but rather helped us see each other in a better, more appreciative light. What I particularly appreciate about the whole thing that happened this year was simply the many times where we saw how kind the years have been to our friendship, simply making us better human beings every step of the way.
And now, the circle has been completed. Unbelievably, I cannot but help tell myself that indeed, Abby is arguably one of the three greatest friends I have ever had in my life. I end up being equally grateful to her not just for the consolation of having been able to turn to her when I needed her sobering advice, but more so for the recent opportunities I have been given to actually return the favor. I'll leave it at that, but I cannot help but thank her for simply believing in me and putting her trust in me. I truly appreciate it.
More than my being grateful to her for all the advice and memories we shared this past year and the years prior, I am practically grateful for her: for being someone whom I used to love, for being the only person who knows me as well as she does, for being the one person who has practically seen me change gradually to who I am today over the years.
In the end, Abby, we've only just begun to live. I'll be rooting behind you every step of the way. I thank you for this year, and without hesitation, if people asked me to name a person I would consider a “best friend”, you would be one of them.
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