.:Did I Hear That Right?:.

So Abby and I were talking last night, and amid all the dialogue that I swear should be between two guys and not a guy and a girl (?I have proven that so-and-so has more? you are my point of reference as a bare minimum. PWN3D!?). Still, despite the fact that I was consciously making sure that I wouldn?t say anything I were to regret, I asked her if she found legible the dedication I wrote on her copy of my graduation picture. She thought so, but what her mom had to say, whom she asked for a second opinion, really threw me off the loop?

Abby: Ma, is Marcelle?s handwriting legible?

Tita Alma: Maganda naman sulat niya, ah! (His handwriting is beautiful.)

Ma?am, if I may respectfully ask, are you sure you and Abby are talking about the same Marcelle? I mean, one of the most glaring shortcomings I had that kept me from wanting to take up engineering in Don Bosco for college was the fact that my handwriting was miserable, and I needed good handwriting to have some remote chance of success in drafting! In any case, that was some really unearned flattery from Mrs. Yao? but it was funny for what it?s worth, nonetheless, knowing how bad my handwriting really is?

Here?s hoping that the realization that my penmanship really bad would send my parents scampering to get me a nice laptop?

.:Should I, Or Shouldn?t I?:.

No offense to anyone who works for a call center, but I personally don?t want to ever have to work for one. Despite that, a certain company is offering a 12,500 two-week crash course to train someone for a Call Center career. Why would I want to go there? Naturally, to work on my voice and diction. Amspeak is something I would really need to improve upon if I wanted to have a career as a disk jockey in RX. I cannot help but wish that I could improve on my own, but this training program may be just what I need to improve. Despite that, the price tag does have its own setbacks, as well as the fact that it will take me two weeks or ten Saturdays to manage through the training program, and not all of it would be for diction, anyway. My problem lies in the fact that a 9-6 schedule either way would be rather difficult to balance with anything I may want to actually do.

Ah, well. At least it?s an option for me to work on my diction. I?d really want to improve on it, as I believe that?s one of the few things keeping me from nailing the RX opening?

.:How Can I Not Feel Better?:.

I managed to run into Rachel twice today, and I swear, that girl is a human dynamo! She?s chock full of extracurricular activities from fencing to even intending to join Celadon? I really have no idea how she does it all. Nonetheless, she?s also not too keen with pictures, as she simply doesn?t like seeing herself on photographs when they?re not too flattering. Ah, well. Looks like I have to think of some way to catch her on camera. It?s not like she doesn?t look good, anyway. Ah, well. I really hope I can have a picture of her soon enough? just to complete the relevant images for my new weblog layout soon enough.

Anyways, she?s her usual bubbly self, and the funny thing about Rach is that she doesn?t even drink coffee, yet she jumps around the place like there?s no tomorrow. She was hopping around for the most part when we were out there in National Bookstore, and it was pretty nice, really. She was a pretty jubilant person, and I?m pleased as punch that I ran into that bright ray of sunshine. She was really nice to me, and all. Of course, it?s highly likely that her elder sister, Faye, is already an item with Kerwin, so I guess that would mean that she has to leave the list again, about as soon as she got into it? heh.

In any case, I ran into her twice today. The last time out, I talked to her about what she intends to do for the summer, and apparently, Rach is going to take up summer classes along with her other activities. Good for her. I know she?ll be doing just fine. So when she got to her car, and then she hugged me as I went off, I felt really good. This is one friend whom I know will be doing really well in the near future, and you might say that I?m one of the people eagerly awaiting what her next move will be. The odds are stacked in her favor, after all.

.:More Gratefulness:.

After my welcome run-in with Rach, I dropped by Ma?am Sining at the Guidance office to have a short chat with her. She was really nice to me, as I was hoping to hear from her due to my lack of? graciousness (Although yesterday, I was full of Grace. Meant that in a really good way. ::winks::), and what she thought about it. I told her about my theory, that my competitiveness kicks in as a defense mechanism, and I think I hit it right on the dot. It was a sublimation, after all. I was glad, because she wasn't really listening as a psychologist to me. More aptly, I was talking to a friend, and a friend was listening to me.

So I was telling her about my plans after graduation, and she was pleased about it. I know it sounds corny, but I swear: there's something so irresistible about teaching. Ma'am Sining should know, as she's also teaching. She was really nice, and she even showed me pictures of her beloved fiancee, who will happen to be around come March 27, so she wouldn't be there during the graduation of the B.S. people... still, she was pretty happy and all.

In any case, she had really heartwarming things to say to me. When I was telling her about the regrets regarding my being a late bloomer, as well as my wish to not jeopardize my friendship because of my being competitive (Ergo, I would really hope to put a stop to it and nip this feeling in the bud before I say or do anything I'd further regret.), she was listening to me intently. As I went and psychoanalyzed myself, there she was, understanding my frustration over having had a window of opportunity that I didn't take, and then when I begin to talk about how my weblogging has heavily influenced my desire to teach, and the sophomore student story I got from Tsumenki...

Ma'am Sining: You know, Marcelle, what you do is practical. I don't think conferring any title on you will really matter, come to think about it. Besides, in my heart, you're the departmental awardee.

Where have I heard that before? Ah, yes. That episode where Rico Yan was only Salutatorian during his graduation, and then his closest teacher, played by Eddie Garcia, walks up to him, and says, "In my heart, you are the Valedictorian". That was my favorite episode of Maalaala Mo Kaya (Will You Remember). I guess being told that by ma'am really made my day, as it was a throwback to a particular MMK episode that I cannot help but cherish. While I don't think a statement like that takes anything away from the actual awardee (And trust me, it doesn't.), I at least realized that the things I've been doing have yielded rather tangible results, and I must say... these results make it all the more worth it for me to persist. Comm Arts is Comm Arts, but what I do in Philosophy has to be Kantian in principle, and bah Gawd, that's what matters.

I hope to take this to heart someday...

It's not really the public recognition of honors or awards, Marcelle. It's the impact you made on the lives of others, whether or not you were entirely aware of it.

Those words really help me coming to terms. So maybe I have my short-term goal at the Blue Roast. If I don't get that shot at redemption, while it may be a speed bump, I believe it shouldn't really matter in the long run.

So with that being said, I handed Ma'am Sining a copy of my creative shot, although she wanted a dedication on it. I guess I can give her one next week. As I was about to leave, however, she gave me a friendly peck on the cheek. I guess her advice for me, to enjoy tonight's Comm Roast, is a piece of advice I ought to take...

Thank you, ma'am. Thank you very much.