Thursday, December 11, 2003

I got this from an e-mail, and since most of you know that I am particularly fond of the Sex Bomb dancers for their down-to-earth appeal and the connection that they can establish with just about any demographic, I suppose it would be nice to post this e-mail... it's funny, but at the same time, it's waxing philosophical on the most unlikely of things: The Spageti Song... sarcasm at its best, and while we can knock them off for the untalented singers (But not dancers.) that they are, but they're probably making more money right now than most of us will in the next ten years...

I can die now. My life is complete. I have heard the latest Sexbomb Girls' album in its entirety and now I have heard everything. My deepest thanks to my mom for choosing to live in a neighbourhood where the people are so 'giving' they will allow you to hear their CD collections for free, at 6 in the morning! every single day! Oh you don't understand it do you? To wake up every single day to the sound of girls who are better off cheerleading than singing; to hear songs about pasta going up and down and sideways and what the hell does it all mean?!!; To hear the words laban and bawi in varying intensities e.g. la la la la la la labaan!! ba ba ba ba ba baweeee!!! LAAAAB AAAAN! BAAAWIIII! AWWWW! AWWWWW! AWWWWW! YES! YES! AWWWWWWW! It is an experience you should not miss. It can serve both as an alarm clock and my ongoing experiment on the limits of human patience. I recommend it highly.

In the spirit of sharing, I will try-emphasis on try- to review the first single off the album. Why only the first single? Well, because I don't feel qualified to review the whole thing. That job is reserved for a music critic with a triple masters degree in philosophy, nuclear physics, and forensic psychology .The album is that, dare i say it, PROFOUND. Actually, its beyond profound, it ' 's.... words fail me.

Here goes nothing. The title of the single i assume is 'Spaghetti.'The title alone is pure genius. Spaghetti as we all know is a favorite among Pinoys of all ages. The message the title is trying to send out is: the Sexbomb Girls are not only for kids but for all ages. The song starts with a sound straight from a kiddie carousel or those old owner-type jeeps which plays Muzak while parking or backing up. To the uninitiated, this may mean a lack of imagination on the composer 's side but alas, the truth is, that intro is meant to appeal to our neotenic(?) urges.

In a world filled with stress and anxiety , the intro lulls us into a trance and brings us back to feelings of childhood without worries. It hypnotises us into shedding our inhibitions; to be innocent and childlike once more, subliminally preparing us for the wrath of the killer chorus.

Suddenly, a guy who suspiciously sounds like Joey de Leon starts counting from 5 to 8. Why the numbers 1 to 4 were left out is anybody's guess. It is one of the mysteries of this song that may never be unravelled, rivalling that of JFK's real killer.It could be part of the Bible code.

This is then followed by the girls themselves screaming "Makinig kayo!" Obviously a paean to that very famous Marc Antony speech that goes like; "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears." This is the girls' way of introducing a bit of Shakespeare to their unsuspecting public.

There is no stopping the girls now.

Apir tayo (give me five?) (let us appear?)
Sumakit ang ulo ko (my head aches)
Sumakit ang dibdib ko (my chest aches)
Sexbomb (3x)

Apir tayo
Sumakit ang bewang ko (My waist aches)
Sumakit ang tuhod ko (my knee aches)
Sexbomb (3x)

The girls are obviously suffering from an existential kind of pain. It is a pain so deep it transcends both the physical and the metaphysical worlds. To give high fives while experiencing a severe form of arthritis and ulceritis is a metaphor for the superficiality of everyday living where outward appearances are more valued; where everything is based on 'pakikisama' even if inside you feel like being eaten alive by amoeba. As long as you 're presentable and maintain a good, albeit hypocritical relationship with everybody, it's okay even if you are suffering inside. Oh the humanity!

Here goes the chorus:

Spaghetting (still in their shakespearean mode of inventing words, the girls decide to make the Italian word spaghetti a Tagalog one by adding ING.) pababa pababa ng pababa (going down going down going down)
Spaghetting pataas pataas ng pataas (going up going up going up)

This may sound like a tour guide of an elevator but it isn't. REALLY. Another metaphor for life's little vissicitudes, the girls are obviously referring to the circle of life You dense person you! Whatever goes up must come down is what they're trying to say. Life is but a cycle with high highs and low lows.The spaghetti they re talking about is US! Yes! You and me! It's about being boiled and cooked and overcooked. It's about being paired with cheese and hotdogs and other ingredients that are not supposed to be there. It's about being eaten! It's about being part of a society where everything is the same yet different. It's about being accepted even if youre too sweet or too sour or too spicy. It's about survival. It's about adapting. It's about LIFE.

Man, these girls and their songs are like the most complex things to ever come out of the Pinoy music scene. I've always thought Radiohead is the most cryptic band there is but now I know I'm wrong. I have been enlightened.

Listen and you will be, too.

Ah, indeed. Such is the intricacy of the "Spageti Song".

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